


Set the World on Fire

by EntropicSymphony



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, M/M, Roxas is already dead at the start of this, Smoking, Tension, my beautiful rarepair, poor boys, suggested physical violence but not actual fights yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 18:37:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13957566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EntropicSymphony/pseuds/EntropicSymphony
Summary: After befriending a boy with terminal cancer ends in Axel losing a close friend he’d made, Vanitas is left with a moping roommate, and he’s all out of patience.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first post! I know the chapters are super short. This was sort of a Drabble in little windows of time. I just feel like it should be broken up for the effect.

Smoke from another blackened match drifts up and off the high rise patio Axel is sitting on, his eyes pulled down lidded and heavy by the bags beneath them. He hasn't slept in days, barely eaten... not even had any booze or cigarettes. He's gone through a dozen boxes of matches, just sitting over the city after dark and lighting match after match to watch it sizzle and burn out. Something about his absence makes him feel as though everything is almost hopeless. Almost, because he knew what he was getting into. He knew what his lover's expiration date was when they met, but he ignored it for the twinge of something that kid made him feel.

Looking back, part of him would call it stupidity. But it's a really small part. The truth is, not even a million matches would be able to bring the light into his world that Roxas had.

The door to the patio is a sliding one, and it groans and creaks when someone behind him pulls it open just as he strikes another match along the box. He puts it between his lips, half hoping it will burn him a bit and feeling rather put out when the wind extinguished the flame for him. He strikes another match to the sound of a shoe scuffing on the uneven patio floor as his flat mate stepped out into the cold evening air with him.

"You're gonna freeze."

Another match, and Axel watches the light curiously. He had almost no desire to be anything but what he had been before, which was someone once too many times fooled into thinking there were good things in the world. Roxas had been a personality built of fragily tacked together exceptions to nature's laws as far as he was concerned, which was probably why he had to die so soon. Exceptions don't live long in a society of rigid rules and social boundaries.

"Axel. Look at me."

He doesn't turn, pulling another match out of the box. The scuff turns into a shuffle, carrying the presence closer before a hand grabs his wrist, stopping him from striking the match. His box is confiscated, and the match along with it, and both of them are thrown over the balcony. He stares after them, wondering why he doesn't have the energy to be mad. He'd been low on energy a lot lately, but he hadn't cried when Roxas had passed so it couldn't have been that. Hadn't cried a single tear. Had watched in a mask as he'd been wheeled off, in a mask as he'd been buried, in a mask each time he visited. He felt numb, and a different kind of numb than he had before. It was difficult to explain, especially when you didn't have the energy for it.

"Seriously. Your lips are turning blue." His flatmate gives a frustrated sort of sigh, hauling him up and shoving him into the apartment. Axel stumbles a few feet, then stills, straightening up. When he turns and his eyes focus on the other man, he's locking the patio door and muttering under his breath. He turns, grabbing Axel by the arm and dragging him to the couch.

"You're acting like a six year old."

Axel doesn't count the blankets that are put around him, some of them haphazardly thrown on and others draped and tucked. All he knows is when he's done and finished he can hardly move, and his back is already starting to sweat. His flat mate drops down beside him with a sigh, running a hand through his hair.

"This has to stop."

He doesn't respond.

"There's other shit to enjoy in life you know. Other people besides one stupid kid-"

"He's not stupid, Vanitas."

Vanitas turns his head, looking Axel's face over. "... eleven months, Axel. You knew the kid for eleven months."

"Felt longer."

"It wasn't."

Axel wiggles his fingers beneath the sheets, surprised he hadn't noticed the numbness in his joints until it was gone.

"He was a great kid. Real cute and nice and maybe you shared some kind of special connection or something but you're tearing yourself apart over eleven months when there's a lot more productive things you could be doing with your time."

"I work."

"Not good enough. Do something with your life. Fuck, am I giving you this stupid speech?" He stood, walking to the kitchen and disappearing.

Axel sunk into the couch, thinking a bit. He'd been doing a lot of thinking, especially about Vanitas. Being the kind of person Vanitas was, he didn't much care for group outings. He found more to complain about than enjoy if he didn't get to personally select the friends he went out with, so taking him anywhere formal was usually tragic. But for the funeral he'd been quiet and stayed by Axel's side and hadn't complained one bit.

When Vanitas came back in the room, Axel was bouncing his leg. "Still cold."

"What you want more blankets?" He set the mug of coffee he'd retrieved down, moving to walk to the bedroom.

"No more blankets." Axel called from behind him.

Vanitas turned, sticking his hands in his pockets. His left hand found the frayed edge of the inside seam, fiddling with it. "... he was a good kid."

"Good kid." Axel nodded. "Hated all the shit I did..."

"Thought it was shit for your body. Said you shouldn't waste yourself like that when you didn't have what he had." Vanitas frowned slightly, watching Axel's face.

Axel nodded, moving to sit up. He pushed the blankets down, reaching into his pocket for a piece of paper. It had been folded and unfolded a dozen times, clear from the way the creased edges were already ripping as he held it out to him.

Vanitas hesitated before stepping forward, taking the paper from him. He unfolded it, reading it over. "... December 20, 2016..."

"Day it came." He muttered softly. "Day I went to see him. Soon as it got here."

He glanced at him, continuing to read his eyes flickered over a pair of lines, reading them once, then a few more times in slight disbelief before he looked up at Axel.

"... you're clean?"

He glanced at him. "... experimental-" he stopped, voice caught in his throat. He cleared it, trying again. "Experimental accelerated track. Said I'd be done by Christmas. They told me h-he..." a long pause, chapped lips pursed in delicate focus as he took a few deep breaths in through his nose. "... he would make it... at least to New Years. It was his Christmas present. Something... something told me I just couldn't wait. I thought I should show him early..."

Vanitas folded the paper back up, setting it on the counter. A silence stretched wide between them, the full truth now sitting on the coffee table and staring them in the face. Vanitas looked down, rubbing his neck. "... That's... I'm sorry..."

"He never saw." He leaned back on the couch, sinking into it.

Vanitas sighed, staying in the silence a moment longer before he couldn't stand it anymore. He walked over, sitting beside him. "... you have an opportunity that he gave you. An opportunity to make something good of yourself for his sake."

Axel looked over, eyes swimming with emotion and dim with exhaustion. He seemed drained, as if every day Roxas were drawing the essence from him and taking it home to wherever he had gone. "He was everything I never knew existed." He muttered. "He was different..."

"... different is special, but it's nothing to die for."

"Really cold."

"You took off the blankets." He covered him again, tucking with a bit more care and attention this time to be sure every inch of him still chilled from the night air would be warm.

"What do I do now?"

"Something good like all those goody goody people who don't know that life actually hurts would do."

"I want to tear apart the people who did that to him." He muttered, frowning.

"He was sick, Axel."

"Then I want to tear apart anyone who has happiness that reminds me too much of him."

"That's what he fixed about you."

"Well he's fucking gone now. And the world's gonna pay for taking him." His hand tightened into a fist around the blanket.

"You're dangerously stupid when you're angry." Vanitas muttered, leaning back against the couch.

"You'll help?"

Vanitas spent a long few minutes staring at the ceiling, hesitating before giving a nod.

"Yeah I'll help."


	2. Light a match

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axel and Vanitas go out for snacks

"What a pathetic haul." Axel muttered, digging through his grocery bag of stolen items. As it turned out, he didn't feel much like murder once he'd made it to the street, so they'd settled for lifting candy from a drug store. He grabbed a taffy out of the bag, unwrapping it and popping it into his mouth.

Vanitas had stolen a couple half full boxes of cigarettes out of the pockets of passers-by, and was indulging in one now, lighting the end with a shiny newly acquired stainless steel lighter and taking a long drag in before letting the smoke curl out of his mouth and into the cold air. "We stole all their Hershey's bars how is that a pathetic haul?"

"Cause I wanted peanut butter cups and now I have Hershey's bars." He threw one at Vanitas, smacking his cheek.

"For fucks sake don't play with your food." He picked it up, throwing it back. "If you want peanut butter cups we'll go raid another store."

"You're smoking."

"And you're throwing chocolate bars. Are we having a state the obvious competition?"

He reached for the cigarette, but Vanitas pulled it away. "No."

"Give it."

"You just got clean do you want to fuck it up already?"

"Give me the cigarette."

He shook his head, passing it over. "You just love fucking yourself up more and more every day don't you?"

"Shut it." Axel took a drag of the cigarette, and most likely from the paper, tastes Vanitas on his lips. He pulls the cigarette from his mouth, letting the smoke spill out as he stared at the smoldering roll of tobacco.

"Done with that?"

He handed it back, paying more attention than usual to the brush of vanitas' cold fingers against his own. He pressed his back to the tree, closing his eyes and breathing in the crisp night air.

"... coffee."

He felt as much as heard Vanitas turn to look at him, still deep in thought.

"What?"

"You taste like coffee." He murmured.

"... I always taste like coffee."

"... it's warm."

"Warm?"

Axel stops talking, staying quiet and with his eyes closed until he hears the shuffle of Vanitas settling back into his spot.

"You're weird as hell sometimes."

 

 

Axel doesn't show an impressive amount of improvement in the few weeks following their little shopping spree, and Vanitas decides his moping around is annoying enough that one night he pins him down and attempts to shove a bowl of ramen down his throat.

"You're being an ungrateful asshole I spent money on this shit for you!"

Their current position is hardly optimal for eating, with Axel laying down on the couch and Vanitas literally kneeling on his chest, Axel's arms pinned under his legs as he tries not to stake the older man's face with a fork full of noodles, either by accident or out of frustration.

Axel isn't having it by any means, mouth squeezed shut and head turned to the side.

"Eat you fuck!" Vanitas growled, setting the bowl aside and grabbing Axel's mouth. He pried his jaw open with one hand, putting the fork in his mouth despite several dozen attempted complaints. "Eat it."

Axel chews, but makes it pretty clear how displeased he is with a sizable frown and a glare.

"No one cares. You're eating and that's the end of it."

He chewed and swallowed, attempting to buck him off again. "If no one cares then why are you pinning me to the couch and shoving pasta in my face?"

"Obviously I'm not nobody." He said casually, holding his ground and gathering up more noodles. "Eat."

Axel, for once, decides not to disagree.


	3. Letting the fire spread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axel gets worse

Against his will, Axel finds himself pulled back into moods and habits he'd spend decades trying to get rid of. Cigarettes came first, then beer, then a can of spray paint lured him into vandalizing a car or two and...

... well, all things considered, maybe he shouldn't have let it go quite this far.

He pressed the button to turn on his phone, the light from the screen lighting up his face as his eyes lazily scanned the numbers. He slipped it away a moment later, and the next thing to illuminate his face was the faint light of his cigarette lighter.

"You still have blood on your face."

He pulled the paper from his mouth, smoke spilling from his lips as he exhaled and turned his face towards Vanitas sitting beside him.

"There's blood a lot of places."

"Don't be a smartass." He slapped his face with the wet handkerchief he'd already cleaned his own face with, releasing it so it stuck to the older man's face.

Axel huffed, wiping at the blood staining his cheek with the cloth. "So what do we do?"

"Nothing."

A hand slipped into Axel's pocket, stealing his cigarette lighter. A second later and Vanitas' pale face was clear in the space before him, like a ghost in between the trees of the public park. A second later it was gone, and Axel could smell the smoke more than see it.

"... you don't think they'll tell?"

"No. I don't think they'll do shit. They're pathetic." Vanitas stretched, leaning back against the tree he'd been using as a pillow.

"If you're sure."

He's not sure when he became so dependent on Vanitas' opinion, but it didn't bother him much. He reached over, taking his lighter back and flicking it in the space between them. The flame lit up both their faces, and his eyes focused on vanitas' ever so slightly annoyed expression.

"I had to do it. You heard what they said."

Vanitas turned away, taking another small puff from his cigarette as he let out an indignant sort of snort.

"I won't let anyone say shit like that about-"

"Yeah about him. We know. Everyone knows. We know what he was to you. We know how much you're hurting and how much you miss him we know we fucking know okay." He snapped, gritting his teeth as he spat out the words. "Pathetic. Pining over some stupid-"

The light went out as a hand fisted itself in Vanitas' shirt, and suddenly Axel was very close, holding him. "Don't you fucking dare."

"Ooh I'm so scared Axels going to hit me. It might hurt if he actually tries for once in his life."

"Shut up!"

"Fuck you! You're pathetic! Pathetic sitting around whining about him. He's dead! Move the fuck on! There are better things out there for you!"

Axel let out a shout, slamming Vanitas into the tree and shoving him up against it. "You don't know a damn thing!"

“I know you have a life and you’re wasting it!” He snapped back, shoving him back hard and stepping forward when he stumbled back. “I know you’ve made a hell of a lot of progress and you’ve thrown it all away cause you’re fucking sad some kid isn’t there to share it with you. I know you’re Exhaisting but I’m still babysitting your ass every damn day!” He shoved him back again, grabbing the front of his shirt and shoving him back against a wall. “I know I care more about you than you probably ever will about me. The only thing I don’t know is why I’m wasting my time with you.” He let go of him, shoving him again and walking away. 

Axel readjusted his shirt as he watched him go, staring silently after him. Waste of time, huh...


End file.
